xXx: Return of Xander Cage

Words cannot express how incredibly overwrought, insipid, hyperactive and foolishly exaggerated the third entry into the action-packed XXX film franchise is in the nonsensical and numbing operative spectacle XXX: Return of Xander Cage. Monosyllabic muscle-bound action star Vin Diesel revisits the rollicking and roguish skin of athletic spy/sports enthusiast Xander Cage in yet another splashy yet sophomoric throbbing thrill-ride that only diehard Diesel fanboys will swallow with unapologetic fervor. When in doubt Diesel knows where his bread is buttered in terms of his secured box office appeal. The pumped-up performer has initiated the hoopla with a couple of popular action flicks in the past only to leave them briefly before deciding to return front and center. Diesel has done this tactic with the inexplicably desired The Fast and the Furious movie series as well as the aforementioned XXX offerings (actor/singers Tyrese Gibson and Ice Cube inherited the big screen honors in replacing the absent Diesel in these energized ditties respectively). Now Diesel is called into service once again to capitalize on the extreme spy genre while satisfying those thrill-seekers whose

Just as Vin Diesel bailed out of the first The Fast and the Furious Sequel, he did the same for the sequel to xXx. However after some years Diesel is back as extreme sports star turned spy Xander Cage in this daft but slightly entertaining film which has an incomprehensible plot, a smug star and even some dodgy CGI here and there. The plot is some bad guys want the Pandora Box which can control spy satellites and it is Cage and his team's mission to retrieve it. However we just know everyone around is just treacherous so they should all watch their backs.

I must confess that I did have higher hopes for this movie. I’m not sure what the script writers was up to when writing it but they really seem to have a very low opinion of the audience’s intelligence. Either that or it was written for a very young audience. There were parts of the movie that was quite fun to watch but on the whole it was pretty much a mess. It is a shame because it had quite a bit of promise. The core of the plot was not too bad although I really wish that Hollywood writers would stay away from plots involving computer gadgetry. Their knowledge in that area simply stinks. Thus the gadget that the entire movie was spun around was simply stupid. Unfortunately another core plot element was the crooked CIA (or whatever department it was supposed to be) boss that of course had to do some senseless backstabbing just to prolong the movie. Tiresome, overused and boring. I know, I know with fucktards like Comey I guess one could say that it would not be too far from the truth but it is still tiresome, overused and boring. Since I am on a rant anyway let’s go on to the various stunts and special effects. It is a long time since I watched a movie where the stunts w