Murder on the Orient Express

I am a great fan of Agatha Christie in general and Hercule Poirot in particular. When yet another remake of Murder on the Orient express came out I was somewhat hesitant. After all, the one with David Suchet was perfect. I guess I was right to be hesitant. This is another one of those remakes where you just wonder…why? As a movie it is not too bad but as a Hercule Poirot movie, the classical Murder on the Orient Express no less, it is like buying a piece of prime filet of beef and discovering that the butcher gave you chicken drums when you open the package. Edible but not at all what you paid for. To me this movie was a blatant attempt to make an Americanized version of Hercule Poirot. It was poorly done by a clueless scriptwriter and director and it was deeply disrespectful to the original character. The movie starts of by introducing Hercule as the pedantic, somewhat weird, person that he is but the attempt is just dumb and silly. Apart from the scene more or less making Hercule look like a jerk, these people apparently know him, why would they serve two eggs of different sizes in the first place? Oh right, because the director thought the audience was too dumb to make

I have always loved this story and was looking forward to seeing this adaptation but afraid it was going to be Branagh'd, especially when finding out he was playing Poirot himself and cast Johnny Depp as Ratchett. When a director wants to put their own stamp on something, they usually screw it up. Branagh dipped both of his shoes in poop (symmetrical, yes?) before stamping Christie's work. Let the story take the film where it needs to be. CGI is not where it wants to be. There's nothing wrong with a dialogue-heavy movie no matter what the studio thinks. Casting Grade: D * When I heard Depp was going to be in it, I assumed he'd be Poirot and Branagh as Ratchet. Depp would have been a terrible choice too but would have made more sense then Henry V himself. Depp did not fit the Ratchett part at all. Richard Widmark's portrayal in the 1974 film was dead-on. This time an Ed Harris would have been perfect. If he weren't available, Charles Dance. Dance may be too British rather than Italian/American but he still can shoot daggers with his eyes. JK Simmons would work and potentially Sean Bean or Viggo. * Poirot - This is a tough role to cast, no doubt. Suchet IS Poirot and Finne

Beginning with Kenneth Branagh's second decade as a filmmaker, I suggest he became an industry workhorse. He acted in many films and directed several, all with varying results in quality. Most pointedly, few felt like they were personal projects for 15 years. For example, his direction of THOR is at the pleasure of Kevin Feige, the head of Marvel Films. I argue that MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS is personal. I believe that the "Shakespeare" guy believed he could create the "Agatha Christie" equivalent of the Marvel Universe. As of this writing, he has returned a second film, DEATH ON THE NILE. There are at least 30 more Hercule Poirot novels remaining for potential sequels. Likely, we won't see a third unless the second proves to be successful. ORIENT EXPRESS received a lukewarm reception - a tepid selection of both audience and critics who find the film neither superior or horrible. But I am committed. I find this classic story delivered through modern technology is beautiful, fun and entertaining. It remains quaint and intimate even as computer generated matte paintings create the stunning atmospheric vistas. I even find the film quite open to repeated viewi